Our love was great,
inevitable like fate.
we hit it off, engraved in the memory
cause it's all in the past, yet when i see ya you're still so friendly.
waited so long for you to realize what you're missin,
but now i see: pointless days and nights spent wishin
wishin that you're still 'mine', hopin you would take the time.
i'm done and i'm through
i'mma do me, so you just do you.
^ I was doing my nails, and I painted the first coat and I was like, 'aw they look so nice! like they're perfect".
but then i did the second coat... and it's like why the frigg did I even ruin the nails? Now i Can't even fix it cause it's gonna look worse than it did. you can't make anything look better if they already look terrible.
So I came to the conclusion, I can't redo things.
One chance, and if you blow it then you blow it.
Things can't be done twice with me. either we got it or we dont.
apparently we didn't, don't push it this time.
you can't fix anything that was already broken.
you can't love if you just don't anymore.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I'm not angry or anything at the moment. like i'm actually happy
but today i was at the mall with my mom and my dad.
they're divorced. before, my dad wasn't happy about the divorce. he was sad
he missed my mom he was miserable. and seeing him like that made me miserable too because i missed him and my mom being together
i know that their relationship while they were married was farrrr from functional. it was actually really really terrible. but like still... sometimes i wish that they would've just stayed together
sometimes i wish that my dad wasn't the way he was. maybe then my mom wouldn't of had a shitty life. maybe my brother would be different. maybe my sister wouldn't have to pretend to be so tough and independent.
i bet you don't know half of the shit i've been through. i'm definitely not boosting about it but i feel that i've been through a lot. it's been happening all my life. maybe this is the reason i act the way i act? i dont really know
people take advantage of the little things, like your parents sleeping peacefully every night. or having everyone in the family at home. or eating dinner as a family. or seeing your parents have a little laugh.
i hardly ever had that. or i actually don't see that anymore.
why couldn't i be part of a functional family? with parents who love each other forever and ever? why is there always yelling in the house? why does my mom have to leave? why do we have to leave? why is he throwing things? why is the police always involved? when will it stop?
^ the questions that were going through my head at like 7 years old...
everything is different now obviously, but it's so sad. i still cry about it all the time. because i can't spend the holidays with both my parents at the same time. or because i didn't have that "normal childhood". my parents would fight on the daily! and it would be really serious, sometimes too much to handle. and my dad would say and do really mean things to me. and my mom. and my sister. and my brother.
when i found out my mom had a bf i was happy for her but at the same time i was sad. something in my mind thought that my parents were gonna get back together. i wanted her to be happy, but i wanted my dad to me happy too.
my dad didn't know about her bf, until he dropped me off at home one time and he saw my mom's boyfriend's car in the driveway. my dad's face was so sad. when i got in my room i cried my eyes out. it's like i know that he still had hope. and like, how much would it suck that the person you love was with someone else? it was obvious that my dad regretted everything in his life and he felt bad for everything he's done.
when i think about the bad stuff that happened in the past.. i just put it in the back of my mind. but i can't live in the past anymore.
i was at the mall with my mom and dad today, and my dad has a girlfriend now. i think that he's moved on.
when my mom and my dad were together today, it was peaceful. they were joking around
and hugging
why couldn't they just be like that when they were together? then they wouldn't of had to get divorced and we could all be happy.
when me and my mom went in the car, omg she started crying so hard. she was like "it's really over"
i got so confused, but i started crying too. because she said something that i already knew.
everything is really over. all their feelings for each other are gone.
and my mom was sad because she never thought she'd feel like that. she wished that they were happy like that when they were married too.
she wanted to have a happy family just as much as me.
but they're over. they're over.
my dad's happy , my mom's happy, so why can't i be happy with them? i guess i just haven't gotten over the fact that my parents will never be happy together again. i feel that without my dad, my house isn't a home. like there's no structure.
sometimes there isn't even anyone home to talk to.
i want a family like the ones in t.v. shows and movies. i can't have everything i want though.
everything happens for a reason. that's what i tell myself.
but today i was at the mall with my mom and my dad.
they're divorced. before, my dad wasn't happy about the divorce. he was sad
he missed my mom he was miserable. and seeing him like that made me miserable too because i missed him and my mom being together
i know that their relationship while they were married was farrrr from functional. it was actually really really terrible. but like still... sometimes i wish that they would've just stayed together
sometimes i wish that my dad wasn't the way he was. maybe then my mom wouldn't of had a shitty life. maybe my brother would be different. maybe my sister wouldn't have to pretend to be so tough and independent.
i bet you don't know half of the shit i've been through. i'm definitely not boosting about it but i feel that i've been through a lot. it's been happening all my life. maybe this is the reason i act the way i act? i dont really know
people take advantage of the little things, like your parents sleeping peacefully every night. or having everyone in the family at home. or eating dinner as a family. or seeing your parents have a little laugh.
i hardly ever had that. or i actually don't see that anymore.
why couldn't i be part of a functional family? with parents who love each other forever and ever? why is there always yelling in the house? why does my mom have to leave? why do we have to leave? why is he throwing things? why is the police always involved? when will it stop?
^ the questions that were going through my head at like 7 years old...
everything is different now obviously, but it's so sad. i still cry about it all the time. because i can't spend the holidays with both my parents at the same time. or because i didn't have that "normal childhood". my parents would fight on the daily! and it would be really serious, sometimes too much to handle. and my dad would say and do really mean things to me. and my mom. and my sister. and my brother.
when i found out my mom had a bf i was happy for her but at the same time i was sad. something in my mind thought that my parents were gonna get back together. i wanted her to be happy, but i wanted my dad to me happy too.
my dad didn't know about her bf, until he dropped me off at home one time and he saw my mom's boyfriend's car in the driveway. my dad's face was so sad. when i got in my room i cried my eyes out. it's like i know that he still had hope. and like, how much would it suck that the person you love was with someone else? it was obvious that my dad regretted everything in his life and he felt bad for everything he's done.
when i think about the bad stuff that happened in the past.. i just put it in the back of my mind. but i can't live in the past anymore.
i was at the mall with my mom and dad today, and my dad has a girlfriend now. i think that he's moved on.
when my mom and my dad were together today, it was peaceful. they were joking around
and hugging
why couldn't they just be like that when they were together? then they wouldn't of had to get divorced and we could all be happy.
when me and my mom went in the car, omg she started crying so hard. she was like "it's really over"
i got so confused, but i started crying too. because she said something that i already knew.
everything is really over. all their feelings for each other are gone.
and my mom was sad because she never thought she'd feel like that. she wished that they were happy like that when they were married too.
she wanted to have a happy family just as much as me.
but they're over. they're over.
my dad's happy , my mom's happy, so why can't i be happy with them? i guess i just haven't gotten over the fact that my parents will never be happy together again. i feel that without my dad, my house isn't a home. like there's no structure.
sometimes there isn't even anyone home to talk to.
i want a family like the ones in t.v. shows and movies. i can't have everything i want though.
everything happens for a reason. that's what i tell myself.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
SO SICK
eff you fever, EFFFF YOU.
my eyesss are burninggggggg, nbdd.
So when it comes down to it, people are only living for themselves. That's what i love most about the world... 8-) I don't blame em though
my eyesss are burninggggggg, nbdd.
So when it comes down to it, people are only living for themselves. That's what i love most about the world... 8-) I don't blame em though
Friday, October 16, 2009
i kind of love life. just kind of though.
So like I don't really have a complaint in the world right now.
I'm in such a "it's whatever" mode atm , where like I don't really give a fcuk
that's kinda not good but... yeah i don't care.
Nothing really bothers me anymore, because there's no point in getting worked up for stupid shiet.
getting alright in school. pretty good actually. but i should really start trying again. i could get so much better.
Happy the weekend's here.
Then one more full week... and mommadukes is GONE! (Y)
woooooo to that!
and then the statesssssss:)
shopping & road trips > chocolate. and ice cream cake.
Yeah. Just saying.
So like I don't really have a complaint in the world right now.
I'm in such a "it's whatever" mode atm , where like I don't really give a fcuk
that's kinda not good but... yeah i don't care.
Nothing really bothers me anymore, because there's no point in getting worked up for stupid shiet.
getting alright in school. pretty good actually. but i should really start trying again. i could get so much better.
Happy the weekend's here.
Then one more full week... and mommadukes is GONE! (Y)
woooooo to that!
and then the statesssssss:)
shopping & road trips > chocolate. and ice cream cake.
Yeah. Just saying.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Love the one you're with
Hola!
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."
^ That is the truthhhhhhhhhh.
First day back to school since friday, and I swear my teachers are speaking a different language.
My Goodness! I feel so stupid in class, haha I hate that.
But whatevs,
it's almost friday :) woot woot woot!
On another note, I'm dead tired. Today I did this whole like presentation video shiet, filming for it... took like 3 or 4 hours but it was worth it cause it's done!
Off to bed.
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."
^ That is the truthhhhhhhhhh.
First day back to school since friday, and I swear my teachers are speaking a different language.
My Goodness! I feel so stupid in class, haha I hate that.
But whatevs,
it's almost friday :) woot woot woot!
On another note, I'm dead tired. Today I did this whole like presentation video shiet, filming for it... took like 3 or 4 hours but it was worth it cause it's done!
Off to bed.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Hey Theree.
I haven't felt the need to blog in a while, caught up in other things like school, homework, family, friends, sleeping. SLEEP <3!!!!!
but since i've been sick the past 2 days (fml) i have nothing TO do except watch tv.
hahaha, but I'm kinda bored of the t.v. now sooo what a better way to pass the time ?
Everything is whatever now, I'm learning that things can't always go my way.
Even when I want a billion things, I know that I can't have it ALL.
What a great life lesson I'm finally beginning to understand!! 8-)....
But I'm enjoying everything that comes at me, I kinda like surprises :)
I'm trying to live one day at a time, live in the present.
Because I'm always reminiscing and looking ahead- Living in the past and planning my future.
But maybe, just this once, I can forget about what happened in the past, be happy right now, and be excited about what's gonna happen next!
The best things happen when you least expect 'em. :)
but since i've been sick the past 2 days (fml) i have nothing TO do except watch tv.
hahaha, but I'm kinda bored of the t.v. now sooo what a better way to pass the time ?
Everything is whatever now, I'm learning that things can't always go my way.
Even when I want a billion things, I know that I can't have it ALL.
What a great life lesson I'm finally beginning to understand!! 8-)....
But I'm enjoying everything that comes at me, I kinda like surprises :)
I'm trying to live one day at a time, live in the present.
Because I'm always reminiscing and looking ahead- Living in the past and planning my future.
But maybe, just this once, I can forget about what happened in the past, be happy right now, and be excited about what's gonna happen next!
The best things happen when you least expect 'em. :)
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I don't really know what's worse,
knowing that someone you truly love doesn't feel the same, or knowing that they cannot live without you.
Knowing that they cannot live without you, literally. You are the only one who they can talk to, be themselves around, and the only person in the world left for them.
Maybe you don't understand how I feel, maybe you do.
Whatever, it still doesn't change anything.
Cause I was sitting and thinking about this and it's hitting me hard. I'm the only one for you, there's no one else in your life that has a true significance. Because you lost everyone.
And you think it's your fault, because of your stupid actions.
I'm practically the only one who stuck with you and never gave up on you because i know you and I know that you say things you don't mean and I know that you do things that you wish you could take back
The things you said and the things you've done to me and especially the ones I love hurt and they never left me. I still remember everything to this day, but I choose to forget about them sometimes because I know that deep down you're a really good person.
And now you have no one, the only woman you've ever loved is gone. Out of your life, that is. But she's happy now, and I wish you were too
I really don't want to see the day you realize the one that still has your heart has given hers to someone else.
because I know you want it back, I know you want everything back.
I see it in your eyes, you miss everything.
But I'm still here so don't blow it
I want you to love again.
I want you to be happy (like you were before)
I want everything to go back to normal(but I know it cant)
I just want you to smile, your genuine smile (that must have died with you)
'cause I love you.
knowing that someone you truly love doesn't feel the same, or knowing that they cannot live without you.
Knowing that they cannot live without you, literally. You are the only one who they can talk to, be themselves around, and the only person in the world left for them.
Maybe you don't understand how I feel, maybe you do.
Whatever, it still doesn't change anything.
Cause I was sitting and thinking about this and it's hitting me hard. I'm the only one for you, there's no one else in your life that has a true significance. Because you lost everyone.
And you think it's your fault, because of your stupid actions.
I'm practically the only one who stuck with you and never gave up on you because i know you and I know that you say things you don't mean and I know that you do things that you wish you could take back
The things you said and the things you've done to me and especially the ones I love hurt and they never left me. I still remember everything to this day, but I choose to forget about them sometimes because I know that deep down you're a really good person.
And now you have no one, the only woman you've ever loved is gone. Out of your life, that is. But she's happy now, and I wish you were too
I really don't want to see the day you realize the one that still has your heart has given hers to someone else.
because I know you want it back, I know you want everything back.
I see it in your eyes, you miss everything.
But I'm still here so don't blow it
I want you to love again.
I want you to be happy (like you were before)
I want everything to go back to normal(but I know it cant)
I just want you to smile, your genuine smile (that must have died with you)
'cause I love you.
Friday, August 28, 2009
quickie
I am tired
Whenever i friggen blog I'm always tired
but seriously, right now I'm so tired
I need to start getting into proper sleeping patterns cause uhhh
Hell's bout to start in like 1 week
BOOOOOO!
so I'mma update on my life tmrw. :)
Whenever i friggen blog I'm always tired
but seriously, right now I'm so tired
I need to start getting into proper sleeping patterns cause uhhh
Hell's bout to start in like 1 week
BOOOOOO!
so I'mma update on my life tmrw. :)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Nickels for my thoughts.
I am mad.
Lemme tell you something :
This is not Fantasy Island, it's the real deal. It appears you got your dream world mixed in with reality, but now I'm stuck up in this mess. Everyone's caught up in this mess. Do you think I'm stupid? I may have been before but now, I see everything crystal clear. If you loved us then why couldn't you just let us in? You should think about what you have right now, and not what you COULD have. But the damage is already done. You're already losing me.
But when it comes down to it... you've always been there for me. So.
I'll come around, maybe tomorrow maybe next week maybe next month but not right now.
Maybe if you just let it all out that night... then I would feel differently
Maybe when I call you back, you return the call (because i did call you back) I would feel differently
But you didnt
So That's how I feel about this whole little situation
Like I said, I'll come around.
Lemme tell you something :
This is not Fantasy Island, it's the real deal. It appears you got your dream world mixed in with reality, but now I'm stuck up in this mess. Everyone's caught up in this mess. Do you think I'm stupid? I may have been before but now, I see everything crystal clear. If you loved us then why couldn't you just let us in? You should think about what you have right now, and not what you COULD have. But the damage is already done. You're already losing me.
But when it comes down to it... you've always been there for me. So.
I'll come around, maybe tomorrow maybe next week maybe next month but not right now.
Maybe if you just let it all out that night... then I would feel differently
Maybe when I call you back, you return the call (because i did call you back) I would feel differently
But you didnt
So That's how I feel about this whole little situation
Like I said, I'll come around.
whaaa
I am.. dunno.
c",)
^K i figured out what that faceee was, and I was like laughing when Markkk finally pointed it out for me.
To kimberly:
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear kimberly,
Happy birthday to you!
Mmhmm, I know it's late on here, but yeah I'm pretty sure I greeted you on facebook like 10 times : ) HAHAH
tuesday, me + you + sandy with party hats... LOL KIDDING
kk so i NEEEEED to make a sephora trip like NOWWW, cause I'm on the website and I just wanna go and buy errything in there! Oh and I'm going to Tremendous todayyyyy! what whattt! I'm seriously so excited.. I've wanted to eat there since my sister brought home her leftovers :(:(:(:(
but now she's taking me :) and if she doesn't take me to sephora then umm...
I think I MIGHTT possibly just go to the mall by myself and go kerazy in that store
I'm about to go to sleep soon, because I think I'm actually tired before 4:30.
I'm listening to musiccc, and I've been listening to the same songs the wholee day !
playlist:
Houstatlantavegas Remix.
No Parade
Promise In the Dark
Hush Hush
How Many Times How Many Lies
Teardrops On My Guitar
(yeah.. taylor swift is pretty random in this little thang.)
ANyways,
i think i might just sleep now..
or not and just stay up. I don't even know what I do to pass the time!
c",)
^K i figured out what that faceee was, and I was like laughing when Markkk finally pointed it out for me.
To kimberly:
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear kimberly,
Happy birthday to you!
Mmhmm, I know it's late on here, but yeah I'm pretty sure I greeted you on facebook like 10 times : ) HAHAH
tuesday, me + you + sandy with party hats... LOL KIDDING
kk so i NEEEEED to make a sephora trip like NOWWW, cause I'm on the website and I just wanna go and buy errything in there! Oh and I'm going to Tremendous todayyyyy! what whattt! I'm seriously so excited.. I've wanted to eat there since my sister brought home her leftovers :(:(:(:(
but now she's taking me :) and if she doesn't take me to sephora then umm...
I think I MIGHTT possibly just go to the mall by myself and go kerazy in that store
I'm about to go to sleep soon, because I think I'm actually tired before 4:30.
I'm listening to musiccc, and I've been listening to the same songs the wholee day !
playlist:
Houstatlantavegas Remix.
No Parade
Promise In the Dark
Hush Hush
How Many Times How Many Lies
Teardrops On My Guitar
(yeah.. taylor swift is pretty random in this little thang.)
ANyways,
i think i might just sleep now..
or not and just stay up. I don't even know what I do to pass the time!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
no more.
I am angry/sad/CON-FUCKING-FUSEDD.
I am not lying, today was so shitty.
I actually fell asleep at FRIGGGGGGGEN. 6AM lol
and then I skipped singing today because I wanted to sleep in:)
Then i went to some nxt party with my daddy,
like he was the friend of the person who held the party, but it was all his family and shiet so it was kinda awkward cause there was no people to talk to :(
So i got there at like 5:00, and we left at freggin 10:30!!!!!!!!! suckS!
i went to the washroom like 6 times cause I had some bladder problem today
i swear i peed like 8 or 9 times in totallll. hahaha
oh then i got home and MY BROTHER LEFTT
I WAS SO HAPPY WITH LIFE OMGOMGOMGOMG you don't even know. my dad was driving through to go to my house, and then my brother passed by us. and i did a little dance cause I was like, YESSS i could go out.
and then i got home and my mom was like, your brother's sleeping @ his gf's house tonighttt. and then i screammmmmmed with joy!
and then i texted lyna. twice. and called her. twice. and she fucking didnt fucking answer and i wanted to kill her during that whole hour.
so everything was being like stalled and stuff
and we were all loafting hard, until finally alpha called and then lyna was like, igght. and shiet.
so we left. timmmmmys! and now... here i am!
but like.. i unno
iunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
I am not lying, today was so shitty.
I actually fell asleep at FRIGGGGGGGEN. 6AM lol
and then I skipped singing today because I wanted to sleep in:)
Then i went to some nxt party with my daddy,
like he was the friend of the person who held the party, but it was all his family and shiet so it was kinda awkward cause there was no people to talk to :(
So i got there at like 5:00, and we left at freggin 10:30!!!!!!!!! suckS!
i went to the washroom like 6 times cause I had some bladder problem today
i swear i peed like 8 or 9 times in totallll. hahaha
oh then i got home and MY BROTHER LEFTT
I WAS SO HAPPY WITH LIFE OMGOMGOMGOMG you don't even know. my dad was driving through to go to my house, and then my brother passed by us. and i did a little dance cause I was like, YESSS i could go out.
and then i got home and my mom was like, your brother's sleeping @ his gf's house tonighttt. and then i screammmmmmed with joy!
and then i texted lyna. twice. and called her. twice. and she fucking didnt fucking answer and i wanted to kill her during that whole hour.
so everything was being like stalled and stuff
and we were all loafting hard, until finally alpha called and then lyna was like, igght. and shiet.
so we left. timmmmmys! and now... here i am!
but like.. i unno
iunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Yay for Allergies!
I am tired and all stuffy and shiet!!
UGHHH, okay so today... friday aug. 21st, i fell asleep at 6 am and had to wake up at 1130 i was sooooo sad, cause it was only 5 hours :(:(:( and then it turns out i didnt even have to leave until around 230! sad times sad times.
And I am seriously soso tired right now! lol i wish i could sleep but something's keeping me up
I worry too much sometimes
oh and you know what else is keeping me up?
FRIGGGGGGGEN. ALLERGIES. i just got them now
and my nose is itchy like fckkkk! oh my goshers I just really wanna get some sleep tonight.
UGHHH, okay so today... friday aug. 21st, i fell asleep at 6 am and had to wake up at 1130 i was sooooo sad, cause it was only 5 hours :(:(:( and then it turns out i didnt even have to leave until around 230! sad times sad times.
And I am seriously soso tired right now! lol i wish i could sleep but something's keeping me up
I worry too much sometimes
oh and you know what else is keeping me up?
FRIGGGGGGGEN. ALLERGIES. i just got them now
and my nose is itchy like fckkkk! oh my goshers I just really wanna get some sleep tonight.
Friday, August 21, 2009
i am okay.
Just one day at a time, i will deal. It's all good. It will all be okay..
I have such bad memory now, it's terrible
it took me like 2 minutes to remember when i did today
haha. So, my mom wwoke me up like she called and started telling me to get ready
I HATEEEE people calling me and telling me to get ready like seriously
it makes me so maddd, haha. cause I'm cranky and I have to wake up and shower right away.
anyways, thats what i did today, because... well... I love shopping, duh.
So i went in hope of finding a perfect gift for Kimberly.. and of course I failed at it. Turns out me and Sandro are now buying a gift together
so tmrw we're going out... to the mall... cause we're having a teenage love affair.
OKayyyy not something to joke about? LOL KIM IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE READING, SORRY HAHAHAHA. i'm totally kidding!
we're goinggg to buy something cute for you, regardless. I hoppeee you'll like ittt!!
kk so i have to wake up at 11:30 and I find it really hard to wake up in the summer if i don't have like 10 hours of sleep... lazy fucking ass i already know
but yah. Going to sleep right now
Oh yeah, I have to start wearing my retainer, cause I haven't wore it in like 2 or 3 months... :S:S:S yeah SO BAD, and yesterday night i wore it and omg when i woke up, IT HURT LIKE A BITCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWWW. LIKEEEEE OMG it's an undescribable feeling. actually no it's not, haha it kinda feels like it feels when you put your braces in for the first time... yeah .:( hahah so i woke up at like 8 and i was almost crying.
ANYWAYS, sleep time for real now : )
Just one day at a time, i will deal. It's all good. It will all be okay..
I have such bad memory now, it's terrible
it took me like 2 minutes to remember when i did today
haha. So, my mom wwoke me up like she called and started telling me to get ready
I HATEEEE people calling me and telling me to get ready like seriously
it makes me so maddd, haha. cause I'm cranky and I have to wake up and shower right away.
anyways, thats what i did today, because... well... I love shopping, duh.
So i went in hope of finding a perfect gift for Kimberly.. and of course I failed at it. Turns out me and Sandro are now buying a gift together
so tmrw we're going out... to the mall... cause we're having a teenage love affair.
OKayyyy not something to joke about? LOL KIM IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE READING, SORRY HAHAHAHA. i'm totally kidding!
we're goinggg to buy something cute for you, regardless. I hoppeee you'll like ittt!!
kk so i have to wake up at 11:30 and I find it really hard to wake up in the summer if i don't have like 10 hours of sleep... lazy fucking ass i already know
but yah. Going to sleep right now
Oh yeah, I have to start wearing my retainer, cause I haven't wore it in like 2 or 3 months... :S:S:S yeah SO BAD, and yesterday night i wore it and omg when i woke up, IT HURT LIKE A BITCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWWW. LIKEEEEE OMG it's an undescribable feeling. actually no it's not, haha it kinda feels like it feels when you put your braces in for the first time... yeah .:( hahah so i woke up at like 8 and i was almost crying.
ANYWAYS, sleep time for real now : )
Thursday, August 20, 2009
updatin x2
I am currently: okay.
Is there anything real in this world anymore? Cause the lights are gettin' brighter and plastic's all I ever see now.
I'm updating as much as i can remember.
Monday.. I can't remember. Of course. I think i just woke up and loafted in my beautiful likkle house.
Tuesday... I believe I was with CNuggets, and we watched the time traveller's wife <3
Seriously, it was so cute. We cried, lololol. but it is all good cause i liked it.
Then ran into my cuzzio + and her amigaaa. turns out we watched the same damn movie at the same time and we didn't even know.
and Apparently i saw her and some other person, and i didn't even know it was them bcause i am that damn blind now. GOshh, i need perfect vision again!
Oh and I took of my nails, maybe for a while times!
I am going back to pianoooo, I think it's final.
Put myself through sooo much pain tearing off those nails, geezzuh! but right when i took them off, I started practicing:)
Wednesday... to me, it isssssss still wednesday. but i didn't do anything fun. Just stayed home and loafted, the usual. Oh and played the piano for a while. Then went out and had pho with the mommadukes <3 she was flirting with the waiter toooo, omg. Lolll love her!
Is there anything real in this world anymore? Cause the lights are gettin' brighter and plastic's all I ever see now.
I'm updating as much as i can remember.
Monday.. I can't remember. Of course. I think i just woke up and loafted in my beautiful likkle house.
Tuesday... I believe I was with CNuggets, and we watched the time traveller's wife <3
Seriously, it was so cute. We cried, lololol. but it is all good cause i liked it.
Then ran into my cuzzio + and her amigaaa. turns out we watched the same damn movie at the same time and we didn't even know.
and Apparently i saw her and some other person, and i didn't even know it was them bcause i am that damn blind now. GOshh, i need perfect vision again!
Oh and I took of my nails, maybe for a while times!
I am going back to pianoooo, I think it's final.
Put myself through sooo much pain tearing off those nails, geezzuh! but right when i took them off, I started practicing:)
Wednesday... to me, it isssssss still wednesday. but i didn't do anything fun. Just stayed home and loafted, the usual. Oh and played the piano for a while. Then went out and had pho with the mommadukes <3 she was flirting with the waiter toooo, omg. Lolll love her!
Monday, August 17, 2009
updatin!
I haven't blogged in a while, so I thought that it would be perfect to do so today, cause I'm so bored atm.
THURSDAY: I was plannnnning to stay in my bed, but of course that didn't work out so well. My sister called and told me we were going for dinner with my dad. I also bought my uniform + my school supplies. WTFFF, so not ready for school!!! at all!! ughh! Might I add that summer 09 was total lamesauce, mostly cause of the gay ass weather. I hate all this like random weather changes, like can't it be constant! I HATE CHANGE!
FRIDAY: I can't even remember what I did friday, no lie. I forget things easily, doesn't that suck.
SATURDAY: I went to 2 fam jams. The 1st one was kinda boring, cause it's my white side and they don't know how to get down like the flips. hahaha k totally kidding, but let's be serious... we were watching golf. But I wasn't really complaining , I like golf :)
2nd fam jam was kinda cute, kinda boring though. me and my little cuzzios, oh and my aunt too, were watching cake boss. :) and one of my cousins was a little chatterbox, i kinda love her cause she was just talking her life away and i enjoyed it (L)
Got home around 12 ish and then talked to Lbeans, and she was all "yo we're sneaking out tonight" and i was all "k i wanna come!" cause i'm just fuckin annoying like that. lol. so they came pour me and then we went to pick up Cnugz. we all went to portcredit, sadtimes, CUTETIMES, and scary times... ummmm fucken raccooons!!!!! Adawggg drove me home, and then i was like locked outta my house. freakin panicking like fuckkk! hahahaha sorry guys!!!! again!! Then I got home and Mmmmmmmuffins was totally doneeezo and we were on webcam... LOL! fuckn drunko for real! (exposed)
SUNDAY: slept till 2, lol. then woke up and did some shit, cant even remember. totally useless. then me and my sis got into a fight, sooo anger today. lol. but now she's my girlprend again <3 so i went to church after, and then i asked my momma to take me to the keg, then to br. LOLLL, MAJJORRRR craving for steak + bbt!!!
THURSDAY: I was plannnnning to stay in my bed, but of course that didn't work out so well. My sister called and told me we were going for dinner with my dad. I also bought my uniform + my school supplies. WTFFF, so not ready for school!!! at all!! ughh! Might I add that summer 09 was total lamesauce, mostly cause of the gay ass weather. I hate all this like random weather changes, like can't it be constant! I HATE CHANGE!
FRIDAY: I can't even remember what I did friday, no lie. I forget things easily, doesn't that suck.
SATURDAY: I went to 2 fam jams. The 1st one was kinda boring, cause it's my white side and they don't know how to get down like the flips. hahaha k totally kidding, but let's be serious... we were watching golf. But I wasn't really complaining , I like golf :)
2nd fam jam was kinda cute, kinda boring though. me and my little cuzzios, oh and my aunt too, were watching cake boss. :) and one of my cousins was a little chatterbox, i kinda love her cause she was just talking her life away and i enjoyed it (L)
Got home around 12 ish and then talked to Lbeans, and she was all "yo we're sneaking out tonight" and i was all "k i wanna come!" cause i'm just fuckin annoying like that. lol. so they came pour me and then we went to pick up Cnugz. we all went to portcredit, sadtimes, CUTETIMES, and scary times... ummmm fucken raccooons!!!!! Adawggg drove me home, and then i was like locked outta my house. freakin panicking like fuckkk! hahahaha sorry guys!!!! again!! Then I got home and Mmmmmmmuffins was totally doneeezo and we were on webcam... LOL! fuckn drunko for real! (exposed)
SUNDAY: slept till 2, lol. then woke up and did some shit, cant even remember. totally useless. then me and my sis got into a fight, sooo anger today. lol. but now she's my girlprend again <3 so i went to church after, and then i asked my momma to take me to the keg, then to br. LOLLL, MAJJORRRR craving for steak + bbt!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Bedridden... for a day at least:(
I am hurtinnnn'
So here I am in my bed. blogging, and watching a movie on my laptop.
Soon, I will shortly be free from my nightmare, but then I'll wake up and I think it will all start again.
When I wake up tho, I'll have my beloved ipod & my pile of books to get me through the day.
in bed. cause I def. will not get up very often
I haven't felt this pain in a long ass time
I WISH i had like, a fever right now or something. broken leg, sprained ankle..
k i lie bout the last two, but I think you get me.
So here I am in my bed. blogging, and watching a movie on my laptop.
Soon, I will shortly be free from my nightmare, but then I'll wake up and I think it will all start again.
When I wake up tho, I'll have my beloved ipod & my pile of books to get me through the day.
in bed. cause I def. will not get up very often
I haven't felt this pain in a long ass time
I WISH i had like, a fever right now or something. broken leg, sprained ankle..
k i lie bout the last two, but I think you get me.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Goodmorning&Goodnight.
I am........................ bored, tired, stupid!
I am an idiotic child for staying up this late for no apparent reason, seeing as I have to wake up at 10 am, and well umm, i LOVEEE my sleep.
I need to learn to say no.
Actually, I need to learn to be mean!
Actually, I need to learn to stick to my decisions I make.
So off to bed I go!
p.s. KimB: goooodluck today girly! I know how stressful exams are :S I always took my theory tests in a cafeteria, and it made me nervous. lolol
RCM IS SOOOO SURRRIOUS, even with filling out your name and stuff... hahaha!
but you'll do great, duh!
love love love you, hope you feel better sooner or later!
i think you just need a little more lauren in your life. ;)
xoxox
(pls ignore the fact that I basically just had a convo with myself, lol)
I am an idiotic child for staying up this late for no apparent reason, seeing as I have to wake up at 10 am, and well umm, i LOVEEE my sleep.
I need to learn to say no.
Actually, I need to learn to be mean!
Actually, I need to learn to stick to my decisions I make.
So off to bed I go!
p.s. KimB: goooodluck today girly! I know how stressful exams are :S I always took my theory tests in a cafeteria, and it made me nervous. lolol
RCM IS SOOOO SURRRIOUS, even with filling out your name and stuff... hahaha!
but you'll do great, duh!
love love love you, hope you feel better sooner or later!
i think you just need a little more lauren in your life. ;)
xoxox
(pls ignore the fact that I basically just had a convo with myself, lol)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Iam: kajwioeuaedjahg abalajba faiwej dblah i dont know
Today was pretty gay, like besides from seeing ceeN, we were kinda bored outta our minds and we watched 500 days of summer. (L) it was kyyyoottt.
and FUCK square one , you fucking see every fucking person you do notttt want to run into.
seeinggg as i have my blog like, publicized on facebook, lol.
i don't give a FUCKK if you read this, i actually hope you will.
cause the next few sentences are for you
Yeah, I am a bitch, the biggest one i can be, but only to you
you know what you did, yeahhhh i forgave you
but those were just words.
get it? I'm allowed to be a bitch to you, cause I can
I'm not the one who did wrong, it was all you
I did NOTTT do SHIT, as much as i wanted to..
I can say that I'm over what you did, cause I am
but after that day, you were a totally different person
I saw through you, and I still can to this day
honey, you can't fool me, why even bother?
cause i am definitely not trying to fool you.
be real & cut the crap!
Maybe I'm being a littttle harsh, but seriously, you aren't a good guy.
I wish everyone else could see that.
Today was pretty gay, like besides from seeing ceeN, we were kinda bored outta our minds and we watched 500 days of summer. (L) it was kyyyoottt.
and FUCK square one , you fucking see every fucking person you do notttt want to run into.
seeinggg as i have my blog like, publicized on facebook, lol.
i don't give a FUCKK if you read this, i actually hope you will.
cause the next few sentences are for you
Yeah, I am a bitch, the biggest one i can be, but only to you
you know what you did, yeahhhh i forgave you
but those were just words.
get it? I'm allowed to be a bitch to you, cause I can
I'm not the one who did wrong, it was all you
I did NOTTT do SHIT, as much as i wanted to..
I can say that I'm over what you did, cause I am
but after that day, you were a totally different person
I saw through you, and I still can to this day
honey, you can't fool me, why even bother?
cause i am definitely not trying to fool you.
be real & cut the crap!
Maybe I'm being a littttle harsh, but seriously, you aren't a good guy.
I wish everyone else could see that.
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