Today was totally gay. I'm so sad that it isn't sunny and hot, because although I love the breezes, I hate the freaking rain and I can only tan in the really really hot beautiful weather we call SUMMER. Shit, I just want the rain to go away.

Guys are dicks, they're fucking animals that can't control themselves. Don't think before they act, don't think about the consequences, they just do what they want when they want. (not all guys though)
Oh and for the horny middle age men that stick their heads out their windows and whistle at teenage girls.. Your thirty, you are no longer fucking cute.

lol

omg one tree hill , the love relationships in it, is making my heart meltttt
like the things the guys do and the things they say, theyre so unbelievably cute and sweet and maybe even SO NOT REAL cuz 1 in a million guys would never say things like this in real life without trying to get in your pants but it's just totally adorable and maybe thats why i can't stop watching this show
I guess it shows how much i hate reality!

-

He tells me his problems. She tells me her problems. Then we have the other two who can't just can't get along and get into serious fights almost every month.
this ain't no highschool shit either, this is my life, my blood, my fam.

I can't even call this a family anymore, we're so fucking disfunctional it's weird how I can ignore it.Okay maybe I'm boosting a little, but compared to the most of ya'll with your cute parents and cute family, mine is just terrible.
Of course we're not a typical family, my parents are divorced, not totally but sure, separated or whatever.
But people say that we're still a family even when parents are separated.
You know what I say to that? bull fucking shit
I don't eat family meals anymore, I don't even eat at "dinner time" I actually don't even have a dinner time. My mom has food ready, but it's no big for her because she just has take out most of the time...
I seriously wish I can have a family meal again. with everyone. no one missing. Because I haven't had that in 3 years, and I barely even had a full family meal back then. My brother started driving when he was sixteen, and since then he was so rebel-ish that he said he didn't want to eat with us. Then a couple years later my sister started driving, so she wasn't eating dinner with us either.
After that it would only be my mom and me and my dad. My mom and dad would be fighting over something... or "discussing" issues.
But where were those meals when we were all genuinely happy with each other? Oh yeah... we had those close to never.

My mom and dad aren't fully settled . My mom's asking for things that my dad says he doesn't have. Hey, I believe him ... I think
My mom and dad just had a fight.. and it's just stupid
I'm sick of all the fights and stuff
I've had people yelling in my house my whole life. literally. Not a day went by where there wasn't an arguement
So the question is
Does it ever stop? Will it ever stop?
No. It wont. Not the fighting ... not the threats... not the breakdowns.
In this fairytale, It won't end.
Too bad it's nothing close to a fairytale. it's reality, and I can't get away.

I know that some people's lives are way worst than mine, so I feel bad for even complaining about stupid shit like this
but imagine your mother and your brother saying that you can't see your own father anymore
what would you do?

That's okay, there's always better days

June 22nd/23rd

Monday- kinda sorta but not really but KINDA helped lyna get ready for prom. lol. and then i went home at 4, thanks to alpha for driving me to lynas and then back home!!!!!!!!!!! anyways mah girl looked so beautifullll , and they were adorableleelelel !

Today- so i was supposed to wake up at 9:30 like i planned so i can get ready and shiet to meet cat and go to the mall w/ her but thennn this chika wakes me up at 9... :(
i wasn't very happy. lol
but yeah i woke up got ready and then i almost missed my bus but i ran for it. and then i was talking to my mom and she said she saw me and she laughed at me.
anyways, me and cat were roaming around the mall, went to gap.
bought clothes.
i stopped cat from buying useless things, and catherine was like... "what would i do without you lauren rodgers???" the truth is, she would be pretty devastated but she would never admit it (im totally joking btw. lolol)
and then we wanted to watch the proposal...
so we diiiiid and it was so so so cute like i loved it to pieces! i will watch it again and again and again
so we went home pretty early, and the sun was still burning hot so i decided to tan : )
1 hour, so now i have a little bitty tann. i'm gonna tan tmrw tooo, probs .
watched the game , and oth my new tv obsessions (L)
oh and i've been craving bubble tea forever and i had some at the mall today with cat
and then my mom comes home and says "lauren lets go to br for bbt." lol
so i did. and Now my day feels complete
goodnightiooooo

June 21st

Today was Fathers dayyyy, and my pops was M.I.A. cuz he went to freaking Florida and I didn't know when he was coming back. He's such a hoe
lol but we ate at swissss chalet (L)

and i was stumblingggggg on the internet, and i was dying over this for like 3 mins:

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

I always give in.

I suck at holding grudges. The end.

idc

"Maybe, in your mind, you had me. But in my mind, you didn't have me completely.
My heart is still mine, and I'm no longer trippin over you. "

I don't what to think I don't know what to feel I don't know where this life is
leading me I don't know what will happen next I dont know anything but I really
don't care.
I really really really really really really really really don't
care
I have changed my ways:
I'm not as nice as I used to be, I don't
care as much as I used to
talk shit, cuz I sure do

I have no problem
telling you I think you're a fucking bitch to your face
Usually what I say
is the truth, I don't lie or make up shit I aint like that
I think you're a
bitch, thanks for proving my point
I think you're a slut thanksssss for
proving my point Really
I used to care about you But not anymore
and I
think you are a big waste

Basically I'm done caring about people who
don't care for me
It's just a waste of time and energy
unneccessary pain
that could have been avoided
If you aren't gonna stay, then save me the time
Adios!

The Joy Luck Club

This is such a goood movie. It made me cry (but what DOESN'T make me cry these days?) lol
It reminded me that some guys are such big dicks, but when you find the right one, oh they just make your days; and it shows that mothers are truly the fucking best.

for 2 of my best girls

Hi darlings
I'm sorry I've been distant for the past few days and I'm really sincerely sorry
because I can't explain my weird mood swings and such
but I'm slowly coming back, by tomorrow I promise
I think its just cuz I'm stressed with school and stuff. but don't worry, Ill be back 100% realll reall soon

c:
I've just realized what you've been going through. I think I kinda forgot, because you always keep it to yourself and make it seem like you're okay
I'm honestly so sorry that sometimes I get annoyed with you and your problems, but its only cuz I forget about the hard hard times you're going through.
I realized when you were telling me about your dream, it hit me.
YOUR LIFE SUCKS. thats why me (and lyna) are here. to make it bettter!
i really tried to tell that girl what you're going through, to get her to understand.
i TRIED.
anyways, i love you <3
oh and thanks for always being here for me, even when you had shittier days than me, you stilll decide to help me instead of helping yourself

l:
HI HUNNY BUNCH.
like really, you're my girl and I back you up like no tomorrow. nooo tomorrow.
i just HAD to mention you in that long ass msg. :) thats how much love i have for you
and like thanks for always being here, never leaving my life. Like you know how much we all hate people who walk in and out of our lives... ahem . lolll. nuffff of those people, they just hurt us and they're just a waste, no? and Like, although i tell you everyday, you and ALPHABETSSSS are so cuteeeeee. LIke cuter than life. I love you guys, I want a relationship like you guys (L)
so basically, i love you my dear. see you tomorrow!!

LOVE YOU GUYS!

Jon and Kate plus 8!!

Okay, honestly I love this show so much and I thank Catherine for getting me into it like... last year? YEAH. this show just really melts my heart and I smile the whole episode long.

My favourite is Alexis because I think she's the cutest one out of all the girls and she's cute and she has soo much love to give. Usually kids show more love to their moms but Alexis is always hugging her dad and stuffffff (L) aw!
like really, looook :


I kinda reallly love mondays :

1) because now that school's over I can sleep in on Monday's and not have to sign in late :)

2) jon and kate!!! !! ! !! ! ! ! !nuffff said

3) gossip girl of course... but that's not on till the summer:(

Anywaysss back to rambling onto more important things in life :

SCHOOLS ALMOST OVER. 4 MORE DAYS. I'm happppppy : )

then summer school.... but W/E!

june 7th

TODAY was great! although i am efffing tired, cause usually i get like, 6 hours of sleep
but today i got 4. =( because kaittttttt slept over and then she wouldn't let me sleep till 4! and i had to wake up at 8
so i woke up at 8 then got readyy, and then left my house by like 1030 ish? yeahh then went to mississauga valley, phillipine national day whaddup.... lol
so i was there walking around with my cousin and kimm, but then kait left
so it was me and kim just walking around the park for like 2 hours. my sandal broke =( and we had to do some nxt thing and tie it back together with her hairtie LOl
and then i left there at like 400?
yeah then went to dinner with my sister and my dad
my dadddd had told me about his FUCKING SCARY AS FUCK DREAM
OMFG....
so heres how it goesss :its long but I JUST NEED TO TELL IT

my grandma ( MOMS SIDE) died in 2006 on december 24, but she got really sick and collapsed on december 16
and my cousin had a birthday party before she got sick on around the 2nd or 3rd, and then we had broke something in the party room rental so my dad went to fix it
and then my grandma had asked my dad to fix her light in her house because it was like, dying and flickering and stuff
and my dad didn't get to fix it because my mom was being/... gay she was accusing him of being somewhereeee and blah blah
and my dad wa slike, i'm doing this for your mom
and then my grandma was like no just go home because she's getting mad
so then my dad never got to fix it...
and then she died.
and my dad had a dream about it like a while after she died. and he was with my cousins in my grandmas house
and it was the light that he didnt fix. it flickered then turned off.
and then my grandma in his dream was a lady with really long hair
IM ACTUALLY TOO SCARED TO FINISH THIS SO ILL FINISH IT TMRW.

June 4th

Today was so borING. My mom would not let me go to school today, and I was like whatt why? She was like, Lauren you're still sick, and I'm like. okay. lolllllllllll
So yeah, Day 2 of staying home and I'm still not sick of it. cause I'd rather be at home than at school. ... can't wait till summmer!!!!:)
8 days? apparently. I actually can't wait for the weekend. just one more day :):)
i get super excited over small things.
k well today I went to practice for that parade shiet for pnd, LMFAOOO
IT WAS HONESTLYYY HONESTLY SUCH A JOKEEE. i was laughinggg through the whole thing
w/e i'm a filipino and i'm PROUD to hold the flag..... . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
yeah, suchhhh a joke. hahaha it should be.. cute!

Oh, and I had a dream, of living in this small town/ city... and then Catherine was in my dream. and we both wished we had raspy voices, and so we went to this magic guy, and he put a spell on us and then my stomache was woozy... and then my voice didn't become raspy after all. :(:(:( then i was sad, but then my sister and her bf popped up and they were like this guys a joke i can do card tricks better than him. and so we were walking back to my house and then MY BAG GOT STOLEN... lol and then i was like WAIT WHERE'S MY BAG, and then we saw it. across the street just sitting there. and then we did some crazy movements my bag came back into my hands.

HONESTLY... my sickness is making me phsyco, even in my dreams.

but all in all , today was really boring, the highlights of my day was watching The Game. (L)

p.s. congrats to LYNA. ;)

Gentlemen Don't

I'm still sick at home. I've been on youtube for hours...
i love love love gabe bondoc and aj rafael
YUP. they make my heart melt

i scream for icecreammmmmm

:( im sick. i was wearing 3 layers at school today and i was stilll freezing. so! i went home :) not going to school tmrw either because im still sick ya know.
so i watched tv then fell asleeep
and then woke up at 7 ish
what a day !
i was really hungry when i woke up
i ate like dinner , then cereal and a pop tart.
and i was craving ice cream like SO SO BAD
and my mom was like yeah ice cream 's good for your colds.
lollllol w/e, that made me happy =) ROLO ICECREAM, MMM :)

I on't careee!

whaddup whaddup! k finally updates :
miss manila pageant had my weekend packeddd. I didn't win, but i on't cur! i had so much fun honestly. it's gonna sound gay, but it ain't bout winning. at least i had the balls to go , true nuff?

k so i made friends. 16 girls!

They sorta kinda made my sundays!

now I'm gonna go crazy w/ pictures... SO SHUT UP AND LOOK. :)

probs the scariest moment of my life... honestly i was shaking getting the f'ing pappppper. but w/e I TRIED MY HARDEST

LOL try speaking in front of peopllllle with no clue what to say! hard shit!

its k though, i pulled it off

oh and this girl, hazel was my fave. she's prolly never gonna read this. oh well. she's the best!

and now for familia. : )

she was the greatest. running around for me. love her!

my beautiful familia <3

my biffles! love them love them love them they are the best of all bestttt!

tanks tanks for the sign, and tanks tanks for coming to support, and tanks tanks for loving me when I'm ugly and oily and cake faced and bitchy

love you love you girls!