blah

I hate Mondays
especially today
i actually hate this whole week. 4 more days? 5 more days?
dunnnno but I'm shitting bricks
wait until friday. or saturday. omggggggggggggggg
K .
so i basically failed my history test today .
got catherine to help me FILL IN MY ANSWERS LOLLL
love chu baby!
and then today i was supposed to be on task and shit
but that didnt work out because!
i went to sleep and set my alarm for 5 to do my homework,
but i didnt wake up till 7.
and soooo i woke up and didnt start working till like, 9
FML! lol
so yeah i basically didnt study for french so I'm screwed but hopefully
it'll just come to me
and all i really studied for was science
I was supposed to start civics culminating today,
but i didnt . its due friday and I have no time to do it during the weeek
woooow I'm screwed
but its k. I got this
all i have to say is,

Wednesday, please come fast!
I miss my lynaaaa and I know it sounds homo but I really just can't wait to seeee her
she be my life! oh and catherine too...

Goodnight

Smile

* Yes, i felt the need to type out this song. It's one of my favourite songs and it's beautiful.

Sometimes I sit at home, and wonder how it'd be
if he had loved me, truly loved me.
i learned a while ago that kinda thing, it never happens for me.
And so I go around and just pretend love is not for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
make em laugh so they wont see
you never let em see you sweat
dont want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows its killing me

sometimes i sit at home by the phone
Hoping he might call me, but he dont call me
But then i realized dreams come true, arent for girls like me
And so i go around with my head up like it aint nothing
and when the boys are out with all my friends
im into other things
cause you never let em see you sweat
dont want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows its killing me

It's not as easy
Sometimes its hard to
It's not the life that i would choose,
But what else can i do if he dont love me?
If he dont want me?
im not about to sit around letting my self go

So i put on my makeup
Put a smile on my face
And if any one asks me
Everything is okay
Im laughing cuz no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cuz im dying inside with my pride & a smile on my face

i very much dislike manwhores

today. woke up late and didnt go to school since it was half day
i watched 17 again and i cried. LOL. because of my family's private & personal life, get offfff my case
loafted at the mallll AS USUAL

Some people may call me a pussy cuz i just basically run away from my problems
Some people may call me a snob because I don't say hi to them or w/e

but you wanna know what?
i dont give a shit. because These people don't know how the effff i feel at all times
and I have a reason I act the way I do.
You really need to be in my position for a day to see that I really am hurting
and no, not from any boy. eff that shit
So yah, sometimes I just can't handle it anymore, and I really have a lot on my mind all day and all night, and I don't need another pointless issue to worry about

I understand we've been through shit, and it wasn't even a lot btw, and I was trying to put that aside forever. But you have to be a dick and be all awkward?
Tried to be your friend, clearly didn't work.
anyways. Main point of this:
I'm not a bitch, I'm not a pussy. (In this case** lol) But if you block me out of your life, what do you expect? Me to just come running to you ?
Hunny, you need a wake up callll.
girls talking shit= trouble. good luck! :)
*if you think this about who you think its about, you're probably a hundred percent right.

i've been crying rivers, and i don't know why. i really just can't explain my tears, they just fall..

Today, I've realized that life is so hard. and you can try and cry your fears and problems away, but they aren't going to leave you until you overcome them.

I try my hardest not to break down in tears, but when I do i get right back up.

I've come to the realization that I have to keep fighting for myself, because someone else for damn sure wont.

All i know, I'm never gonna quit. ever. ever. ever.

breaking point

i've reached my breaking point?
okay im sooo boosting. but honestly i'm loafting so hard when i really shouldn't be loafting atttt all. 10% off history culminating cuz i handed it in late. like wtff!
but the sad part is that i really dont even care

long weekend was no fun for me at all, culminating and working with my cousins helping them with their homework, radio show. ughhh effff man, it was the gayest weekend ever . i was looking forward to sleeping in and shiet, but i ended up doing work. :(
its my fault . but still. i dont care.

and my teacher gets mad at me for not doing my homework the second or third time this semester. "lauren its becoming a bad habit" when other people fully don't finish their homework even more than me. shit man. pisssses me off!

anyways , lifes moving a bit too fast

i wish i can stop for a sec. pause life. take it in , and get effing organized

2 tests tmrw. civvics & history . don't even have my history binder, thus meaning i'm craming during classes, but i cant cram during french because apparently im a TERRIBLE student, and i cant study during 3rd period science cuz she's scary
so basically screwed for my life? i miss one effing day and everything comes at me like this
lol crazy shit

i'm taking it one day at a time. only tomorrow as a true day of school, then carnival day! which means FREE DAYYYY
so happy with life.
gotta go sleep off my worries

p.s. i miss lyna in my life

i love history culminating!

i'm lying. i hate it. hate it. hate it.
i only hate it because i have to do 20 effing cards in 3ish days.
it's really easy but it takes so longgggggggggggggggggg. i'm such a damn loafter
i wanted long weekend to come. but now i dont.

i wish i was a bear. so i can hibernate during the shitty weather.
in my case. shitty days. shitty weeks. iuno. w/e

i also wish, i could speak japanese. like honestly... their language is soo cool !

me and my freggin wishes.
i think of these while im bored. =)
i was in class watching some documentary of them speaking jap. and i was like... so amazed. but then i couldn't understand what they were saying and i didn't feel like reading the words anymore so i was like. eff this. and i closed my eyes. best 30 mins of my day!

anyways. when i got home i went out.. w/ cath. mall. duh.
then got home... did my science project which i totally forgot about
and now im working on history. i was supposed to be on card like, 10 right now
but i had to do my science project first =*(
oh well

tired like F*#$ !

Last night, i couldn't sleeep. Sad Times. I fell asleep at 4 : ( woke up at 7 and i was like dead.
After school i volunteeredd :) then went to bubbble tea 168. mangoo bubbble teaaaaaaaa!
was craving it like mad.

So then me and dan. x2 +rachelle walked alll the way to the effing mall
from mavis and eglinton.
lololololl. 40 mins. cuz we're AMAZINGG!
it was pretty nice tho, not gonna lie. the weather and shiett.

stayed at the mall for a bit then went home. then went back to the mall with my mom an hour later. haha!

then i came back home. and ateee, cuz i hadnt eaten alll day. :S and then did my homework... ish
i did not study civvics but oh well
and i did not finish answering my questions even though i said i would.
i also did not start science project orrrr culminating. both due tuesday
lifes tough.

gotta catch up on sleep. cuz i can't even nap tmrw
long weekend, can you come annnnny slower?!

I'm a failure.

School was okayy. nothing out of the normmmmmm.
came home and took a nap even though i said i wasn't going to this whole week
woke up at 7: )
i said i wasn't gnna go on the compy. or watch tv .. and i could not last.
so yeah.

i have to do culminating -> lost my rubric.
i have to do science project -> lost my rubric.
like wtf?!

I never lose my homework shit. EVERRRR.
i'm sitting herelistening to music because i literally don't know what to do.
science quiz tmrw... big waste, still havent studied for it either.
FML harD?
I`m gonna start at 1030 for sure : )

green tea & halls & waterfalllls

To my dearest throat:

i hope you die a slow and horrible death.

-yours truly.<3

firsttt, happy mother's day mommmmma! <3>
yes, i'm aware that it is nottt mother's day anymore. who givesss

today was pretty chillllll, woke up at 2 today :D:D:D! my first weekend waking up late in a longgggg time.
took a shower then loafted till my sister came hoame. got ready then kyle came. we left, went to famjam, which i had to leave early :( for practice.
practice from 6-830 ishh, and i was like famished! so i ate at swissss chalet with the pops <3
then yeah, came home
studied. like ughhhh.
and now i'm just tired as fcuk ! i'm off to bed, it's effing 1 am and thats late enufff for me

p.s. thanks for wasting like 30 seconds of your time reading that =)

a song for mama- boyz II men

my favourite song for mommy ever created in this lifetime =*)

i wanna know how it feels to lose my arm, look for it, then find it and hold it. like those people did in the wars.
i wanna know how it feels to be shot.
i wanna see what life flashing before ones eyes really is.
i want a boy to chase after me only to realize hes too late.

^ all just cuz i'm so curious. (except the last one, thats for my personal satisfaction)

Hi there. I'm Lo. =) I'm sitting at home, but I wouldn't wanna be out because it was such a crappy dapppyyy day. I woke up late and jumped into the shower, then my hair turned out like whackkk, and i put it up and it was just w/e. I couldn't wear what I planned cuz of the ugggy weather. I went to singing lessons, it was rough. I felt sick after, so me and my mom ate. burger king, ughhh made me more sick. and then i went to get my dress fitting, and i wasn't looking forward to that either. but omggggg i actually loved it! cuz of the guyy, he like made my day. i was laughing like the whole time. omgosh after talking to him it was sunny. and i was so much happier with life. so i came home and helped my mom make dinner before she left. and now here i am. finding out that gossip girl's season finale is in like 2 weeks?!? breakingggg my heart! that is my fave fave show and like without it my weeks are kinda incomplete.
anyways. I'm wearing my oversizeddd green caridgan from american apparel. my favourite home sweater. <3>
k so i don't feel like typing anymore ishhhhh, so goodbye.

thanks to the dress designer, american apparel, and rin on the rox, for being so amazingly amazing. you made my day =*)

"Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means to world to you, espcially when goodbye isn't what you want..."

Why can't you both be happy? like.. it seems as if when she's happy, you're depressed. and when she's sad, you're all smiles. All i know is that you can't have them... both. Give it up, as sad as it is, it's over. It's done. Even if it feels like hell right now, everything's going to slowly come together. Don't be selfish, it's time to let her go.

whaddddup

today was gay gay gay.
went to school, and i was actually energized today =)
then, meee being the mall rat that i am, went to the mall.
met up with cat for a bit,
congrats cattty booo ! freeeeee timothy's allday erryday, eyy! ;)
k then i was loafting around the mall. had to go for dinner with my popsss and my sister, and my sister told me to stay at the mall.so i loafted for like 2 hours ish =*{. sad times. walked around the mall a gajillion times.
and then i bumped into my dad. LOLLL it was the weirdest thing.
ate at jack astors then came home and sang with my mommmsy. =)
my neighbour rings the doorbell and tells us to turn it down. like WTF we werent even loud and it was like 9.
whatevssssssss my neighbours a b word.
then yeahhh here i am! blogging while i should be studying. i'm going to fail civics. civiccccccccs . like easiest course? i know.
i don't feel like going to classes tmrw. probly become 'sick' second period and go home the rest of the day.

i free my mind

today i was sitting in class taking in life. lmao
i was like, what if i was dead before, and i came back alive in a different body?
the next time i die i wanna come back as a frog : )

so i stayed after school. rolled pennies for community service hours. how cute is that?
i now have 1 hourrrrr of community service and i'm proud
its reallly ugly outside right now, and i haven't taken a nap in ages
so goodnight =)

bullshittters, liars, fakes and snakes make me l o l

the effing title says it all, no?
i'm so past being angry at them, that i just laugh.
don't just talk to talk. if you're gonna say something then make sure it's the damn truth.
and when you say forever, it means for fucking ever. and if you don't plan on staying in my life for very long, then don't even open your mouth. true?
i love my bfffls kb cn lt, cuz theyre here for me they keep me sane they hold it down they keep it real. lolllllllllllllll. but forreal, they are my truesttt, and the truest are the ppl you need in your life.
i was so naive. i still am, but at least im learning now.
a person can never break out of their bad habit forever.
if they were like that once, they will be like that for the rest of their livessss.
my mother had been telling me that since time, but i just refused to listen to her.
now i understand what she's been talking about...
like in my opinion, i've been through alot. not physically, but i've seen a lot, i've been hurt a lot, and now everythings an effing joke.

it's sad how heartbreakers can't even really break my heart anymore.
and if they can't break it, then who can? definitely not you.

one!!!!1

my first time blogggging ever in my life. first time finishing my homework before 12! biggg moments today!
lyna tran is amazing because she made this for me. i love you lynicles =)

Oh my dear loverrrrr.

Lauren Rodgers,

I love you :) . And this is your blog, your place
to share everythingand anything you need to let out.
Or say how much you love me.
You're welcome for making you one.
Love you bestfriendddd.

lynatraaaan.

♥