I'm kinda liking this bitch thing.
People say that you should love your children while their young, and cherish them... because sooner or later, they stop loving unconditionally.
I don't think I love you unconditionally anymore. :S

'

Is it true? You really don't give a shit?
Coulda fooled me.
I'm actually trying. Digging deeper, to find some 'truth' in what you say and do
But maybe it IS the truth, I'm just too blind to see it.
Apparently I was too young to understand, too young to comprehend what was happening right before my eyes.
I do remember some of it, and I wish I couldn't remember it at all.
You are a manipulative, controlling son of a bitch.
I can only call you that behind your back, because I think I may possibly love you too much to hurt you.
I wish you could feel the same way about me.
You can't though, and that's pretty sad, considering I'm your baby.

:)

And maybe in time I'll tell you I'm a little bit in love with you.

P.S. Ryan Manalo, if you just so happened to be reading this...
I hope you enjoy, but I want you to know I now hate you forever.:)

"I used to give a fuck, Now i give a fuck less."

I USED to care sooo much about everything, but now I don't really give a damn.
Fuck what anyone else says, I'm living for Me.
For Myself, and I could do whatever I please when it comes to my future because
its My future.
So, I could care less what anyone else says.
Thanks for your advice for me and what i do,
but I'm sick of everyone looking out for me.
Let me do me
Let me live.

XoXo, Lo.

Hm.

So why do you love the person you love?
a) Because of what she does with you, or
b) Because of the natural effect she has on you

If your answer is a), you should be with me.
If your answer is b), you should still be with me.
If your answer is unclear, why can't you be with me?
I wish she wasn't so perfect for you.

Let Love In.

When you love someone, why can't you just love? Love completely. No problems, no stupid arguements, no worries. You have each other, isn't that enough? And if it isn't, then what is?
Just forget the world and open your hearts for once.
LOve in the now, or else.
Xox, Lo.

Beyonce concert was too good. I didn't take any pictures (seeing as it's useless when I'm on lawn!) but it's okay, because it's stuck in my head fo eva eva.
Oh, and it really made me happy to know I was in the same area as Drake. (L). Just saying.

I'm so confused like really.
Usually I find a way to figure it all out
It's not working
This is an emergency.

I'm updating for Catherine
I don't really know why I'm blogging today, I haven't even put together my thoughts
lol i'm a confuzzled child
I'm eating peas in a can for dinner
I absolutely LOVE peas in a can. They're my favourite vegetable in a can
Oh, AND! I'm done summerschool, bitches!

A night to forget

no matter how hard you cry, he's not gonna stop. So what's the point of crying? He's gonna keep going

Hi

i dont

I don't. I don't. I don't. Usually if I tell myself something a million times I start to believe it
So i don't ... I won't because I can't, and it's that simple! Willpower and Self- Control, baby.Hopefully I'm strong enough to stick to what I say this time...

Fam First

Because that's how it's supposed to be. You see, as much as I like you, I have to pretend that I don't. If i actually admitted to liking you, I consider it to be betrayal. I would never ever betray my dad.
I'm kind of the only thing that my dad has.
You just can't replace my popppie, no matter how much of a jerk he was in the past. and maybe still is to this day.
And if you come in acting as if you're #2... it would just hurt him. (And it would hurt me a little too much)

I love summer school

lolllll, i'm such a joke.

I just don't know

I want to be a doctor. I want to be a paediatrician... I think.
I want a family, and I want to have a healthy family, with children that would love me forever and Not get me mistaken for their babysitter...
So its got me thinking, What am I gonna do???
I thought I had my mind made up this whole time
I really want to be a doctor, really and truely. Like it's been my dream since foreverr
but it's also been my dream to have a beautiful functioning family with a husband that cares and with children who are always gonna run to me.
I honestly don't think that I can have both
Or maybe I'm just rambling, but I really don't want to grow up anymore

Today was totally gay. I'm so sad that it isn't sunny and hot, because although I love the breezes, I hate the freaking rain and I can only tan in the really really hot beautiful weather we call SUMMER. Shit, I just want the rain to go away.

Guys are dicks, they're fucking animals that can't control themselves. Don't think before they act, don't think about the consequences, they just do what they want when they want. (not all guys though)
Oh and for the horny middle age men that stick their heads out their windows and whistle at teenage girls.. Your thirty, you are no longer fucking cute.

lol

omg one tree hill , the love relationships in it, is making my heart meltttt
like the things the guys do and the things they say, theyre so unbelievably cute and sweet and maybe even SO NOT REAL cuz 1 in a million guys would never say things like this in real life without trying to get in your pants but it's just totally adorable and maybe thats why i can't stop watching this show
I guess it shows how much i hate reality!

-

He tells me his problems. She tells me her problems. Then we have the other two who can't just can't get along and get into serious fights almost every month.
this ain't no highschool shit either, this is my life, my blood, my fam.

I can't even call this a family anymore, we're so fucking disfunctional it's weird how I can ignore it.Okay maybe I'm boosting a little, but compared to the most of ya'll with your cute parents and cute family, mine is just terrible.
Of course we're not a typical family, my parents are divorced, not totally but sure, separated or whatever.
But people say that we're still a family even when parents are separated.
You know what I say to that? bull fucking shit
I don't eat family meals anymore, I don't even eat at "dinner time" I actually don't even have a dinner time. My mom has food ready, but it's no big for her because she just has take out most of the time...
I seriously wish I can have a family meal again. with everyone. no one missing. Because I haven't had that in 3 years, and I barely even had a full family meal back then. My brother started driving when he was sixteen, and since then he was so rebel-ish that he said he didn't want to eat with us. Then a couple years later my sister started driving, so she wasn't eating dinner with us either.
After that it would only be my mom and me and my dad. My mom and dad would be fighting over something... or "discussing" issues.
But where were those meals when we were all genuinely happy with each other? Oh yeah... we had those close to never.

My mom and dad aren't fully settled . My mom's asking for things that my dad says he doesn't have. Hey, I believe him ... I think
My mom and dad just had a fight.. and it's just stupid
I'm sick of all the fights and stuff
I've had people yelling in my house my whole life. literally. Not a day went by where there wasn't an arguement
So the question is
Does it ever stop? Will it ever stop?
No. It wont. Not the fighting ... not the threats... not the breakdowns.
In this fairytale, It won't end.
Too bad it's nothing close to a fairytale. it's reality, and I can't get away.

I know that some people's lives are way worst than mine, so I feel bad for even complaining about stupid shit like this
but imagine your mother and your brother saying that you can't see your own father anymore
what would you do?

That's okay, there's always better days

June 22nd/23rd

Monday- kinda sorta but not really but KINDA helped lyna get ready for prom. lol. and then i went home at 4, thanks to alpha for driving me to lynas and then back home!!!!!!!!!!! anyways mah girl looked so beautifullll , and they were adorableleelelel !

Today- so i was supposed to wake up at 9:30 like i planned so i can get ready and shiet to meet cat and go to the mall w/ her but thennn this chika wakes me up at 9... :(
i wasn't very happy. lol
but yeah i woke up got ready and then i almost missed my bus but i ran for it. and then i was talking to my mom and she said she saw me and she laughed at me.
anyways, me and cat were roaming around the mall, went to gap.
bought clothes.
i stopped cat from buying useless things, and catherine was like... "what would i do without you lauren rodgers???" the truth is, she would be pretty devastated but she would never admit it (im totally joking btw. lolol)
and then we wanted to watch the proposal...
so we diiiiid and it was so so so cute like i loved it to pieces! i will watch it again and again and again
so we went home pretty early, and the sun was still burning hot so i decided to tan : )
1 hour, so now i have a little bitty tann. i'm gonna tan tmrw tooo, probs .
watched the game , and oth my new tv obsessions (L)
oh and i've been craving bubble tea forever and i had some at the mall today with cat
and then my mom comes home and says "lauren lets go to br for bbt." lol
so i did. and Now my day feels complete
goodnightiooooo

June 21st

Today was Fathers dayyyy, and my pops was M.I.A. cuz he went to freaking Florida and I didn't know when he was coming back. He's such a hoe
lol but we ate at swissss chalet (L)

and i was stumblingggggg on the internet, and i was dying over this for like 3 mins:

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."